28th May 2003
The Dremel
I’m the proud owner of a Dremel 7800, which can put small objects into orbit if you’re not careful.
I’d mentioned recently that I was building monitor stands (because I want to USE the space under the monitor) Well, one of my beasts is a 21″ Apple Studio Monitor - the one that has a huge tripod base. No, not the gorgeous 23″ Cinema Display, but the big hulking CRT ancestor.
Don’t panic! The Dremel shows up soon!
So anyway, I build a stand, and it’s sturdy and I’m proud of it and so on…
I managed to wrangle the tripod base off of the bottom of the ASM. The monitor stand adds 6″+ to the top of the desk. The tripod removal gives me back about 4″, but there’s still a plastic dome on the bottom of the monitor.
Enter basic ergonomics. I don’t want to spend the next year or so fusing my top two vertebrae together looking UP. I knew going into the project that some sort of surgery on the Cathode Ray Beast would be absolutely necessary. It was some sort of Mission Imperative - make useable space under the monitor, without noticeably raising overall height.
Enter the Dremel. A Dremel is what a cordless screwdriver wants to be when it grows up. You can attach almost any small object (such as a marshmallow, or jello), and spin it at 25,000 RPM. This mandates the use of Safety Goggles.
I wrestled the 80 pound monitor into an overturned position for the operation. With a good bit, and the use of the optional cutting guide, I reasoned that removing the polycarbonate dome from the bottom would be, like, cutting through cold butter - not too hard.
Hah! Apple monitors (CRT’s, circa 1999) are made of pretty tough stuff. There’s a myriad of reinforcing ribs running every which way, so the cut keeps alternating between 3/16″ and 5/8″, and the bit is not happy AT ALL about it. I stopped about 20 times. I kept thinking the bit was going to overheat and explode on me. I actually touched the bit once and got a minor burn (Doh!). Plastic dust everywhere! I should have recorded the screeching sounds of metal and plastic. I’m sure some industrial band would have loved it. My cats covered their furry ears.
So I lived, didn’t go to the hospital, etc. This was one of those “be patient, don’t rush the tool, this will all work” deals. [disclaimer: This article is written for entertainment value. I am not suggesting that you take a potentially dangerous tool to the bottom of your Apple Monitor. It is not an entry-level modification, and you could possibly damage a) yourself, b) the monitor, c) the table, d) the hearing of nearby parakeets. If you do this though, I would be keen to hear the tale.]
Dome removed. Vacuumed all of the shredded polycarbonate out of the monitor. It rests beautifully on the stand; the bottom controls have a finger-thickness clearance. Powered up. Everything’s perfect. Sigh of relief.
Thank you, Dremel!
