16th Sep 2008
The Worst Fortune Cookie
So I am in my fave chinese lunch spot, Jennie Lows, laughing to the point of tears at my David Sedaris book between bites of Mongolian Beef, trying not to spit up my Tsing Tao …
My cookie comes with the check. For just once, I want to see “Today you do not have to pay!”. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? I would do a victory lap around the joint, waving my precious slip of paper like Mr. Bean with a First Class Ticket. They’d give me a key to the city and a massage.
But my fortune was altogether different, and very, very, wrong …
“For better luck you have to wait till spring”
I blinked. Wait, someone got paid to write that?
“For better luck you have to wait till spring”
It was real. WTF! … It’s not even October! Maybe they meant when Spring comes in Australia, but I checked with my friends there and it’s still cold.
It couldn’t be serious, right? Someone bored in Fortune Central? Perhaps this could have been worse. They may have had extensive editorial meetings on this one:
(boss) Jenkins! What da ya got today!
(jenkins) Well…. How about “You may as well give up till the groundhog says so” ??
(boss) Ohhhh.. no we cant use that, we’d be liable if someone got upset and choked to death on their egg roll
(cathy interjects) How about: “Your blood will run cold till the leaves turn green” ??
(boss furrows brow) Noo.. too Gothic. And the Red Cross wouldn’t like it either
(jenkins) “Oh! I know! — “For better luck you have to wait till spring”
(all) Oohhhhh yesssss!!
(peterman, the wise sage in the corner) Yes! It gives a ray of hope but does not really promise a thing!
(all) Ha ha ha ha!
So I am in my fave chinese lunch spot, Jennie Lows, laughing to the point of tears at my David Sedaris book between bites of Mongolian Beef, trying not to spit up my Tsing Tao …
My cookie comes with the check. For just once, I want to see “Today you do not have to pay!”. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? I would do a victory lap around the joint, waving my precious slip of paper like Mr. Bean with a First Class Ticket. They’d give me a key to the city and a massage.
But my fortune was altogether different, and very, very, wrong …
“For better luck you have to wait till spring”
I blinked. Wait, someone got paid to write that?
“For better luck you have to wait till spring”
It was real. WTF! … It’s not even October! Maybe they meant when Spring comes in Australia, but I checked with my friends there and it’s still cold.
It couldn’t be serious, right? Someone bored in Fortune Central? Perhaps this could have been worse. They may have had extensive editorial meetings on this one:
(boss) Jenkins! What da ya got today!
(jenkins) Well…. How about “You may as well give up till the groundhog says so” ??
(boss) Ohhhh.. no we cant use that, we’d be liable if someone got upset and choked to death on their egg roll
(cathy interjects) How about: “Your blood will run cold till the leaves turn green” ??
(boss furrows brow) Noo.. too Gothic. And the Red Cross wouldn’t like it either
(jenkins) “Oh! I know! — “For better luck you have to wait till spring”
(all) Oohhhhh yesssss!!
(peterman, the wise sage in the corner) Yes! It gives a ray of hope but does not really promise a thing!
(all) Ha ha ha ha!
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